totally brilliant.

a must read. annie is wise.

find my peace

The following is my submission for our church's annual Advent devotional book.

I do the middle school girls’ Bible study for Wednesday Night Alive at my church, and my faithful attendee is Lily, a sixth grader. I love that girl. She didn’t know me at all that first day, and now she shows up without fail and spends an hour talking about scripture with me. My hat’s off to her. She has no choice but to pay attention and discuss things with me, and she’s a great sport about it. I’m proud of her and happy that I get to spend that time with her. Recently one of my lessons touched on my favorite verse in all of scripture:

Hebrews 4:15-16
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Lily and I spent time discussing Jesus’ (our High Priest’s) temptation in the desert; how he fought back the devil with the power of memorized scripture; how the devil was preying on Jesus when He was physically weak; how Satan has no pity for us when we’re down (1 Peter 5:8); how we’d be utterly and totally lost if Jesus had, at any point, given in. His refusal to worship the devil allowed him to continue on in his mission to die on the cross for our sins. Thank you Lord!!

I like to wrap my head around the fact that before Jesus came, believers couldn’t directly talk to God. Jesus is what bridges us to God the Father; his death makes us sinless in God’s eyes. And I think of those old priests who went in to the Holy of Holies on the believers’ behalf; only they could go in, and even then, it was only like once a year. Can you imagine? Believing in God and not being able to just talk to Him whenever you want? When Jesus died, the curtain was torn and everyone was given an all-access pass to the Holy of Holies. That is a privilege! O how I take it for granted.

I’m tempted a lot. I mess up all the time. My soul is clean only because Jesus forgives me. What a tremendous comfort it is to me to remember that Jesus was “tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin”, and because of that, He knows how I feel. You bet I’m going to run to His throne in confidence, resting back at his knees, soaking up that mercy and grace that He has for me in abundance. Thank you Lord, for coming to this earth and saving us. More than that, thank You for knowing how we feel.

“O how I would have despaired
If You had not come found me there
I can lean against Your throne and find my peace

Find my peace…”

~ Jennifer Knapp, Peace

NaBloPoMo day 1

Beliefs

I read books occasionally. I like to make it seem like I'm more of a reader than I actually am. My bookshelves are filled with literature and books on theology and the like. My bookshelves look good, too. Sometimes I take one off of the shelf, open it, start to read it, and say to myself, "This is a good discipline. I should do this more often." Then I close the book, find the remote, and turn on the tv, usually settling on something useless. Definitely something brainless. It's easier to pretend I've got life figured out so I don't have to think much rather than to face the fact that I am a frail human being with innumerable shortcomings. My twisted logic often tells me I'd be a better person if I read more.

Anyway, sometimes out of the blue clear sky God drops a book in my life that I should consume in order to better myself. These books usually get my heart racing because I finally feel like I'm "on to something" in my walk with Jesus. I get both excited with the possibility for change in my soul and a little overwhelmed by wondering how change is going to look in the nitty gritty day-to-day life.

During college, those books were What's So Amazing About Grace? (Yancey), Speaking of Jesus (Stiles), and The Ragamuffin Gospel (Manning). Each of them were packed with truths that I needed to wrap my soul around. In '04, the book was Boundaries (Cloud). These are all titles that I still recommend to people.

Now, it's Blue Like Jazz, by Don Miller. Truthfully, this is my favorite. It reads easiest, and it's a wonderfully poignant memoir. I aspire to write like this guy. Someday I think I'll have my own memoir that not only touches people with its (sometimes biting) honesty, it'll inspire and encourage change in their souls.

I'm sure many of you have read this book already, but if you haven't, you seriously need to. I'm not going to summarize why. Just trust me on this. But a chapter that has pierced me in the last day or so is on Beliefs. I'm going to quote him now:

"If [my friend] is right, if I live what I believe, then I don't believe very many noble things. My life testifies that the first thing I believe is that I am the most important person in the world. My life testifies to this because I care more about my food and shelter and happiness than about anybody else.

I am learning to believe better things. I am learning to believe that other people exist, that fashion is not truth; rather, Jesus is the most important figure in history, and the gospel is the most powerful force in the universe. I am learning not to be passionate about empty things, but to cultivate passion for justice, grace, truth, and communicate the idea that Jesus likes people and even loves them."

There is more I want to do with this information than just quote it. I want to live it. Lately, Dave and I have been struck with the truths of the AIDS pandemic in Africa. Our eyes have been opened to the horrors people face there and the staggering statistics that we have long turned away from. We have signed the ONE campaign's petition and we have begun sharing these ideas with our friends. But how do we love Jesus by loving others in real, tangible ways?

Much more can be said about these things, but I am curious how you follow Jesus. How do you put your passion for justice, grace, truth, and Jesus into practice? If you are so inclined, talk to me about it.

I'm living a safe life and I make safe decisions because safety best suits my selfishness.